thewildcard
I'm in this for the ice cream.
I don't recommend it.
fastWell, when I'm wrong, I'll admit it.
Days 4-6 were great. I felt good, I was losing weight, I didn't crave stuff, and I felt like the cleanse was TOTALLY working and that my body was actually ridding itself of toxins.
Then things went downhill.
Day 7 I had what I would lovingly call "Cleanse Rage". I had all kinds of cravings. I was just so BORED with drinking the same ol' juice. And bored with not going out with my friends--I mean, I couldn't even go for coffee. Whatever the reason, I had cravings like a pregnant lady. According to the book, the cravings are supposedly the result of old toxins from the very things you are craving being washed out of your system. I bought that. I did. Maybe I still do.
Day 8 I was soooooo dizzy. And forgetful. The forgetfulness started earlier in the cleanse and got worse and worse. Absentmindedness is perhaps a better word. Anyway, again, this is all supposed to be toxin-related, but know what? I think I was dizzy and forgetful because I hadn't eaten in 8 days.
Day 9 was cravings again. I tend toward a vegetarian diet with interludes of both meat eating and veganism. Day 9, I wanted a gigantic rare steak and a cold bottle of verde and to take an entire day to consume them slowly while listening to Mozart.
Day 10 I was sick. I'd had a tingle in my throat and a headache Day 9 but thought "hmm. . .toxins?". . .no. Sick. Day 10 I had a cold and some of the worst acid reflux ever. My body was DONE with lemon juice, lime juice, cayenne pepper, and I think even maple syrup. I sneezed all day. I almost didn't go to my auditions that day (but they were fine; I can still sing legit-operatic with a cold but I can't twang or belt very well, at least not in an audition situation where you get up early and warm up and then sit not singing for hours). Sick. The Master Cleanser claims to be a CURE for a cold--for everything, really--and while on it I came down with one.
Conclusion: While it has worked well for a number of people, many of them my friends, this cleanse does not mesh with my body chemistry. I would not do it again. If I do another cleanse, with some other juice, I'll stop after the 4-6 day mark which was when I felt good and cleansed, and before things got ugly.
(cough, hack)
There is a specific way I'm supposed to eat for the next three days to reintroduce my body to food. Today is supposed to be all orange juice. You know what? No! I know it's a little reckless and I'm fearing for my poor metabolism, but I'm going to have whatever I feel I ought to have. I've had OJ, some plain yogurt (maybe it will settle in my nice clean intestines yay!), aloe vera juice, and an apple. I'll do the recommended vegetable soup tomorrow, too, but along with whatever else I want.
Know why? Because I'm sick and I'm dizzy and I have a headache and I'm absentminded and I have to go to work and this cleanse did NOT HELP ME. I lost a few pounds, but I'm quite sure it's all coming back. Quitting drinking was good for me, too. . .but this cleanse? Never again.
I also lost my last pound on day 5. That means for 5 days I ate nothing and lost no weight. I was fully in survival mode. My poor body.
Okay done.
Days 4-6 were great. I felt good, I was losing weight, I didn't crave stuff, and I felt like the cleanse was TOTALLY working and that my body was actually ridding itself of toxins.
Then things went downhill.
Day 7 I had what I would lovingly call "Cleanse Rage". I had all kinds of cravings. I was just so BORED with drinking the same ol' juice. And bored with not going out with my friends--I mean, I couldn't even go for coffee. Whatever the reason, I had cravings like a pregnant lady. According to the book, the cravings are supposedly the result of old toxins from the very things you are craving being washed out of your system. I bought that. I did. Maybe I still do.
Day 8 I was soooooo dizzy. And forgetful. The forgetfulness started earlier in the cleanse and got worse and worse. Absentmindedness is perhaps a better word. Anyway, again, this is all supposed to be toxin-related, but know what? I think I was dizzy and forgetful because I hadn't eaten in 8 days.
Day 9 was cravings again. I tend toward a vegetarian diet with interludes of both meat eating and veganism. Day 9, I wanted a gigantic rare steak and a cold bottle of verde and to take an entire day to consume them slowly while listening to Mozart.
Day 10 I was sick. I'd had a tingle in my throat and a headache Day 9 but thought "hmm. . .toxins?". . .no. Sick. Day 10 I had a cold and some of the worst acid reflux ever. My body was DONE with lemon juice, lime juice, cayenne pepper, and I think even maple syrup. I sneezed all day. I almost didn't go to my auditions that day (but they were fine; I can still sing legit-operatic with a cold but I can't twang or belt very well, at least not in an audition situation where you get up early and warm up and then sit not singing for hours). Sick. The Master Cleanser claims to be a CURE for a cold--for everything, really--and while on it I came down with one.
Conclusion: While it has worked well for a number of people, many of them my friends, this cleanse does not mesh with my body chemistry. I would not do it again. If I do another cleanse, with some other juice, I'll stop after the 4-6 day mark which was when I felt good and cleansed, and before things got ugly.
(cough, hack)
There is a specific way I'm supposed to eat for the next three days to reintroduce my body to food. Today is supposed to be all orange juice. You know what? No! I know it's a little reckless and I'm fearing for my poor metabolism, but I'm going to have whatever I feel I ought to have. I've had OJ, some plain yogurt (maybe it will settle in my nice clean intestines yay!), aloe vera juice, and an apple. I'll do the recommended vegetable soup tomorrow, too, but along with whatever else I want.
Know why? Because I'm sick and I'm dizzy and I have a headache and I'm absentminded and I have to go to work and this cleanse did NOT HELP ME. I lost a few pounds, but I'm quite sure it's all coming back. Quitting drinking was good for me, too. . .but this cleanse? Never again.
I also lost my last pound on day 5. That means for 5 days I ate nothing and lost no weight. I was fully in survival mode. My poor body.
Okay done.
Glamorous and Delusional.
Awesomely Bad Links
. . .Was Here.
